The following activities borrow heavily from the book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy – Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop, used with permission. For a more in-depth exploration of biblical lament, we highly recommend this book.
Around a third of the psalms in the Bible are prayers of lament – people crying out to God in dark trials with deep emotions. This fact is a deep blessing to believers in two different ways. First, it gives us permission to engage fully and honestly with God in our difficult emotions – sadness, mourning, anger, grief, sorrow, depression, and more. When followers of Jesus experience dark valleys and emotional turmoil, we have somewhere to turn – to a God who invites us to bring our deepest heartaches to him.
Second, the lament psalms not only give us permission to bring our sorrows to God, they show us how. As we follow the pattern of biblical lament, we stand on solid ground – knowing what to do with our sorrows, and knowing confidently that we are on a path that leads from pain to grace, truth, and hope in the promises of God.
In Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, Vroegop identifies four key components of lament psalms. We can use these components as an outline for taking our own sorrows to the Lord.
1. Turn to God – When the psalmists found themselves in difficulty or sorrow, they didn’t remain silent; they turned their hearts and minds to God, intentionally crying out to him in prayer. What’s more, the psalms often make this turning to God explicit and verbal: “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;” (Psalm 77:1-2a).
2. Bring your complaint – As they lament, the psalmists frequently express specific feelings and situations to the Lord. They describe their sorrow, fear, and anger as well as name the difficulties and enemies they face. They even give voice to their feelings of confusion and grief when God himself seems distant – “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1).
3. Ask boldly – The lament psalms not only show us that we can pour out our griefs before the Lord, but also that we can ask for his intervention, especially asking God to work and act according to who he is and what he has already promised. This gives confidence to our prayers, knowing that God will always remain true to his character and to his word. “Vindicate me, O Lord, my God, according to your righteousness, and let them not rejoice over me!” (Psalm 35:23-24).
4. Choose to trust – As the psalmists turn to God, pouring out their hearts and complaints, and asking God to work powerfully on their behalf, they set their hope fully on God. They make the active choice to trust him and patiently wait upon him. We lament not in order to shake our fists at God, but to entrust to him our difficulties and deep sorrows, knowing that he is still Almighty God and loving Father. “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5).
In the following activities, we will use the lament psalms and this basic structure to help guide our own prayers of lament. When we encounter sorrows in our own lives, it is vital for us – like the psalmists – to turn to God, lay our complaints before him, ask boldly for his working, and choose to trust.